writing once again...fuck

The cold snow falling once more aain on my face. Standing here right where I started. The cold snow. My body numb once aain. So cold I can no longer feal. So numb I no longer feal the frozen pains. So cold I never feal the blade any more. So cold. Just take a swim in the frozen lake to ease my pains. Or lack of pain. The frozen water just sucked all the air out of my lungs. I dont gasp for air. I know If i do I will most certenly drown. I cant feal the way I used to. My delema. Do I let the cold water kill me? Or do I let the pain of the cool water bring me back to life? Just a quiclk dip in the water then Im out. Yet I find myself wanting to stay here. Just freaze and sink to the bottom. Stop holding it in let it go. The air from my lungs is gone. The wanter quicly fill the empty space. I start to sink. Falling. The sensation of the air passing my by. Falling faster and faster though the air. The ground is starting to aprouch me. The cold white snow. I stoped trusing myself and I let myself win. The end has come for me once again. The snow is no longer white. Just red once again.