when i was gone
All I thought was what happins later.
OR you.
it was mostly you.

Super hero girl by eve 6
almost over by limpbizket
all around me by flyleaf
before Im dead by kidney thieves
before I forgett by slipknot
All I ever wanted by basshunter

yea...few songs
anyways
I think i dont want to let you go
ever....so yea...

a few songs in my mind alot

time for a sad song

fidlers green

Halfway down the trail to Hell,In a shady meadow greenAre the Souls of all dead troopers camped,Near a good old-time canteen.And this eternal resting placeIs known as Fiddlers' Green.
Marching past, straight through to HellThe Infantry are seen.Accompanied by the Engineers,Artillery and Marines,For none but the shades of CavalrymenDismount at Fiddlers' Green.
Though some go curving down the trailTo seek a warmer scene.No trooper ever gets to HellEre he's emptied his canteen.And so rides back to drink againWith friends at Fiddlers' Green.
And so when man and horse go downBeneath a saber keen,Or in a roaring charge of fierce meleeYou stop a bullet clean,And the hostiles come to get your scalp,Just empty your canteen,And put your pistol to your headAnd go to Fiddlers' Green.

and time for a better song
"foggy dew"

'Twas down the glen one Easter mornTo a city fair rode I.When armed line of marching menIn squadrons passed me by.No pipes did hum, no battle drumDid sound its loud tattooBut the Angelus bell o'er the Liffey's swellRang out in the foggy dew.
Right proudly high over Dublin townThey hung out a flag of war.'Twas better to die 'neath an Irish skyThan at Suvla or Sud el Bar.And from the plains of Royal MeathStrong men came hurrying through;While Brittania's huns with their great big gunsSailed in through the foggy dew.

O' the night fell black and the rifles' crack
Made "Perfidious Abion" reel'Mid the leaden rail, seven tongues of flame Did shine o'er the lines of steel.
By each shining blade a prayer was siad
That to Ireland her sons be true,And when morning broke still the war flag shook
Out its fold in the foggy dew
'Twas England bade our wild geese go
That small nations might be free.But their lonely graves are by Suvla's waves
On the fringe of the gray North Sea.But had they died by Pearse's side
Or fought with Cathal Brugha,
Their names we'd keep where the Fenians sleep'Neath the shroud of the foggy dew.
The bravest fell, and the solemn bell Rang mournfully and clear
For those who died that Watertide
In the springing of the year.And the world did gaze with deep amaze
At those fearless men, but few
Who bore the fight that freedom's light
Might shine through the foggy dew.
Ah, back through the glen I rode again
and my heart with grief was
I parted then with valiant men
whom I never shall see more.But to and fro in my dreams I go andI'd kneel and pray for you,For slavery fled, O glorious dead, when
you fell in the foggy dew.

Eilzabeth I love you.
Kate your my best freind end of statement.
Frances if you still read this Im sorry for everything I have done to you.
I have things to do people to see.
And shit to blow up along the way

Semper Fidelis

he walks in the darkness of pain.
The darkness of night.
Never his own darkness.
Yet always his,
his darkness.
his fight.
When when will he give up.
Never.
The only one with his middle finger in the air as death trys to come to get him once more.
He never moves.
Just sits and waits for his time to come.
Yet it will not betoday.
For some one fancys him.
Maby it will work out for him this time.

What souldnt be on my stone

life sucks
shit happins
things dont go your way.
Yet in the end things work out.
So get over it and go live life.
You only have one

well....
as few know im sick as hell today.
Yet Im the happiest i have benn in a very long time.
Things are kindda falling in the right places now

I find it kindda funny
I was listing to that cd you gave me a wile back.
patriot game
by far almost my fav track

stand tall in the darkness.
For darkness is mearly just a time.
A short and yet a long time.
Times come.
Times go.
Things change.
Things stay the same.

some one told me
its not the light that's great.
its when you have darkness.
Then there is light.
That's what makes it so beautiful

Its just that.
well you dont know everything
and you kindda based a decision on that.
but o well
thats the past.
MY past is behind me.
Yet it changes who im.
yet it dose not.
There are only a few solid peaces of me if you havent alredy figured that out. kindda like pillars
The rest are fragments subject to change or well sothing else

its just that one thing thats on my mind but i dont want to rush into things

sometimes i wonder if you dont want to be with just beacuse you might lose me.

but the question is what is a long distance relations ship for a few years compared to a lifetime?
that was a question for you

sometimes i wonder if you dont want to be with just beacuse you might lose me.
but the question is what is a long distance relations ship for a few years compared to a lifetime?

you know me
i dont like commitment
yet i find myself there.
You know how im
just
dont like to be missed
yet its the one thing that holds me back
yet keeps me me

When i leave to fight demons.
may they be mine.
may they be night.
may they be what people fright.
may they be the night.
may they be the shadows.
may they be.

crawling linkin park

crawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/I can't seemto find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way beforeso insecurec
rawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
distracting/reacting
against my will I stand beside my own reflection
it's haunting how I can't seem... to find myself again
my walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take) I've felt this way before
so insecurecrawling in my skin
these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall
confusing what is real
crawling in my skin these wounds they will not heal
fear is how I fall confusing confusing what is real
there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
consuming/confusing what is real
this lack of self-control I fear is never ending
controlling/confusing what is real

its just that fealing that you always know what your suposed to do but you dont exactly know anything else.
and what do you think?

also
no one has nothing to fight for.
You just dont notice there reasions.

your the only one.
The only one that knows me.
The only one that knows what hides in the darkness.
the only one that understands.
The only one that brings peace in the pain.
The only one that can see.
The one that folows when I run.
The one that hold the peaces when I crumble
The only one that can see my scars.
The only one that can touch them.

The only one that gets a bridge of stone.

music makes me dance

top music list?
well music that intrests me right now
foggy dew
blind * I hate you kate*
comming undone *kate -_-*
when angels fly away
snap
lonely day
wo bist du
hands held high
wish again
rocky road to dublin
fiddlers green
blackbird *crazy remix i got*
american boy
what gose around comes around
one day
in time
no bravery
.45
time wont let me go
otherside
Till I colapse
Snowblind
union By black eyed peas
like toy soldiers

and a few others

a bridge

I was once asked by some one after i stoped talking to some one else.
why did you stop talking to them.
all I had to say.
I burn the bridges behind me so no one can walk them and get close to me again.
I burn them to keep them away from that monster that could be me.
I burn them so they never go down my path.
I burn them to keep them far from me.
I burn my bridges so no one else will.
and the people that are deturmed will cross that river anyway. they need no bridges.
but the real reasion I do it
some people dont need to be in my life.
I gave them a world full of chances and they just threw them on the ground.
so I say they can just sit on the edge of the river and look to the other side and see nothing but a foot trail.
the trail I left behind never to come bacl to

why do you have to like most of the things i do
it makes my list shorter

well.....
urm.....
have nothing to say yet

yea you know e i never say anything right.
but yea,,,,
i wouldnt take advantage of you....
but yea
work with you

just so you know.....
right now I could get real close to you
sexual or anything else...
I have to work on some things with you.....
so in other words dont expect any of that kindda stuff outta me....

the one thing in one of my dreams thats stick out the most.

I was walking in a grave yard.
I seen many stones.
Then there was a collu/piller thing...
It had a simple enscription

Here lies a lost man.
He did things so others never had to do them.
The question is who did you live your life?

that piller.
ITs in all the graveyards in my dreams.
ITs the pillar I hate.

thats why I dont sleep

The battles that are the hardest are not fought on the battle feild.
they are not fought in the light.
They are fought in the darkness of you mind

some times I wonder is pastor john keeps asking me to join....
also
you sould watch
brother where art thou.
and urm i kinnda want to spend more time with you at a more private place ish....
and stop talking about my dirty boots.
they are just fine.
who said you had to do every thing alone.

In the final hour

In the fianl hour of darkness, He sliped into the darkness.
He told us the question is not did we live life.
The question is how did we live.
Then he sliped into the darkness.
Like the wind across the plains.
yet he did not totaly dissapear.
We He is still around.
we continue to here storys of him somwhere else.

Pages riped from history.
kinda funny no one knows there where there, yet we know there was something missing.
No one knows what it is but they just know.
So rip some pages from random books just to fuck with people.

Time ticks on.
Sometimes I wonder.
can we leave the past behind us?
Never look back?
Or is that one thing that makes us who we are today?
If so why do we run from our past so much?
Yet why do we run from the future to?
so where dose that put us now?
Here or there?
Or just some where in the middle?

kindda funny how that last post worked out with the music...
i wasnt expecting that....
wonder if it was somthing that was urm......
dont know the words to say.
owell
ill figure it out one day.

magic 100
owell
i gess its just gunna be simple

in darkness no one knows who or what you are
just that you are

working on a new story....
well moreless a dream
well a set of them
my best and my worst.

136
sometimes I wonder why me.

i kindda find it funny how everything waits to go wrong at once.
but owell
i gess i kindda seen it coming.
thats my life

Walk softly in the night.
Coming and going with out being known.
A shroud of darkness.
Coming and going.
Fading in and out of darkness.
no one knows.
what happins when the darkness becomes light.
The light that reveils the truth.
A cold sunrise.

i find myself diffrent tht i used to be.
yet the same person.
kindda funny.